Watch as the three stars try to sell their bird watching movie. I haven’t seen needless shilling like this since nic cage’ tried to make g-force seem like a watchable movie
Feels like a big year
Ok, in fairness I was half cut when I was watching this movie but I don’t think it would have made any more sense sober. The Level of talent on show is impressive: Jack black, Owen wilson and Steve Martin take the main roles, supporting cast includes Rashida Jones, Rosamund Pike, Kevin Pollack (does he count as a star anymore?) Anjelica Heuston, and fucking Brian Dennehy, with narration by John Cleese.
In a movie about bird watching.
Yeah, I’ll let that sink in… Bird watching. Who greenlit this? It’s diverting, by which I mean it;s not actually annoying to watch, but for a film starring many of the top comedic actors of the past 30 years it’s just not funny. I mean I didn’t laugh once. No wait, I did laugh once. Literally once. Owen Wilson gets to say the one good punchline. I can only assume he is in this movie to payback director David Frankel for the eternal route into retarded pet lovers panties with which was provided by his role in Marley and Me but seriously… this movie is about birdwatching. Maybe there exists the theoretical possibility of a movie on this subject where this hobby provides an appropriate analogy for the human condition but this is not that movie. Black, Martin and Cleese clearly know comedy so how do they read this script and go: I’m in!? Apart from the obvious problems of director and subject, it still ended up being a hot mess. The characters are not set up, sub plots appear and disappear at random, Cleese’s Alimony inspired narration is pointless and tacked on, major life events happen and yet the bird watching takes precedence and the resolution is quick and nonsensical. The more I watched the more annoyed i was.
Oh yeah, did I mention it’s about birdwatching?
One Star * Please don;t watch this movie.
Denzel phoning it in in Safe House. This hair cutting scene takes about five minutes and it’s not even a cool ‘shaving my head cause I’m on the run scene’, he just cuts it. From long to slightly less long.
Safe House
Yo Denzel,
Glad you could take some time out from phoning it in Tony Scott movies to phone it in this piece of crap. I mean sure two oscars should be enough for anyone but does that mean you have to stop trying all together? There’s little worse than a boring action film. Safe House starts out ok but as the film goes on the plot gets simultaneously thinner and more drawn out. They’ve gone for ‘realistic’ fight scenes which you would think would be a good thing but it makes the fights seem more like chip shop brawls (or UFC) all grappling and holds. Bruce lee it ain’t. Well shot, lame story, lame Denzel, I love Ryan Reynolds but even one of the kings of likeability can’t save this one, not terrible but terribly pointless.
**
EF
Harvey Weinstein
Oscar addiction anyone?
The Woman in Black
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Plopper) gets all scared in this thrill fest from Hammer Horror. By no means a spectacular film it does however manage a fright or two along the way. Couldn’t help but find Radcliffe too young for the lead though. A widowed man with a young child? Come on he is only 12 right?
***
Daniel Radcliffe seen here in The Woman in Black.
A Dangerous Method - I never knew Carl Jung was Irish!?
Cronenberg, Mortnesen, Fassbender and…Knightley? Shoot the casting director on this one, they were doing such a great job and then they mucked it. There goes my veto of all things Knightley. That said her performance was surprisingly watchable in this thought fest (shabby Russian accent aside). The big stand out for me here was Mortensen’s take on Freud. Great performance and a real show stealer. Also great in a support slot was Cassel as a man with reckless abandon at his core. In a nutshell I’d say: good round the edges; little frayed at the centre.
****
Imitation of Life, 1959
Oh the melodrama
I watched Douglas Sirk’s ‘Imitation of Life’ last night. I can only describe it as a soap opera on a very grand scale. Watch the highs, lows, and dizzyingly quick relationships form and crumble. Blink and you’ll miss the character development but there is no missing the emotional tension that hangs in the air. Rarely do you see emotions (some non sensical it must be said) given so much screen time. In such a way this film is somewhat unique and stands apart - for this reason there is merit in the melodrama. That doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy it though.
***
